that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
