I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
