Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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