He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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