he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
