either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Holy sore nipples Batman
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
