My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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