That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize