Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
