im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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