Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
