Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
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