In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
