is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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