I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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