he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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