i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
And then he peed in my hair
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