Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
