just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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