Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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