just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize