I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
