Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
