drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
bring money and cleavage
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
