Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
