It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Randomize
