YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
