He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
All the doctor said was why
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
