Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
