The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
