Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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