I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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