so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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