youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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