I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
