2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
