She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
