Cold hands, warm shart.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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