Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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