so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
