oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
What happened to fro yo and sex?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I need a beard to bite.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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