So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
my liver is dry heaving
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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