At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
