dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
