Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
