Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
