ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Damn victory sex feels great
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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