I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
