chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize