i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I stole a fireplace last night.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
