I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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