Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
