i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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