we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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