rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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