It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
