They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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