It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
