do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
