does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
